Of course he’s nuts. He’s my kid.
Nonetheless, he still gets to go to school. So, in early elementary, the kids make Valentines for each other. Usually moms and dads buy cutesy, pre-fab cards and have their kids scribble their names upon them. Not my Guthrie. No, Guthrie, the whacked out book maker, treasures February 14th as a demonstration of the wildest non-Cupid-esque designs ever. They made me laugh, and they made me a little scared.
These are being delivered to 26 kids as I type this. The first image below looks innocent enough. The first page of several contain an actual heart, names, etc. But the spiral is definitely crack-ward from there. Come along and see.
These days, what says, “BE MINE” more than a carbonated Lymon bath?
Spike’s Peak bouncing. Very popular February activity in Colorado, I hear.
What a cool Valentine, having the 1st letter of your name torched ablaze by a flame-breathing gecko. On a ladder.
It says, “Welcome to boring TV. Cali’s fried cheese.” Nothing to add.
Happy Valentine’s Day Giant Muffin Fight. Not right.
No peanut butter. Because you’re in South America?
Maybe my favorite. Best non-sequitur ever.
Yeah, because it’s Valentine’s Day. WTF??
THEREFORE, EVERYONE IS MY VALENTINE.
Newest Valentine’s Day fad = “tamato” fight with a weakling alien.
Oh, the joyous sentiment! Remember, it’s Valentine’s Day.
Vague Dead or Alive reference. So hilarious.
Guthrie is not a fan of homework. Yet, on a school night, he spent almost 4 hours creating 26 valentines, plus two more for his teachers. What could it mean!?